Venezuela cured me of ever wanting to go to any protest, like, ever. I tasted tear gas. It tastes gross. Shots rang out, I knew immediately that I had miscalculated my enthusiasm for my friends’ cause (they were anti-Chavista. History has proven they were on the right side). I got home safely that day. There was looting and craziness in the days following. Then, a strange calm. I went back to teaching at an English institute in the heart of Caracas to a different group of students and I got my first lesson in teaching the traumatized. I think that was when I knew I always wanted to teach; I gave out my homemade banana bread as a class prize for different things. It was the only way I could fathom to incentivize learning at a time when their nation was falling apart.
A year later, I returned back to the US where EVERYTHING had changed. 9/11 had happened while I was gone. I had left one traumatized nation for my own. It was foreign to me. I didn’t recognize something about my own home. It was strange and I’ll never get over how that felt. Suddenly, we were ‘Merica and it wasn’t a good look on us. 24 years later, I’m still scratching my head. Who are we? More importantly, who will we become?
I’ll admit, I’ve been blind to the horrific flaws of the Democratic Party out of an all out desire to not have the current situation that we have. I looked past all the cronyism that’s rampant all over Washington to achieve “the lesser” of two evils, allowing my desire for social liberalism to be upheld. All of us countrymen looked past a whole bunch of things about the “sides” we cling to. However, I bet my measly teacher pension that this is NOT what any of us really wanted and I can guarantee you that there is not one mother in this country that wanted to traumatize immigrants and children.
So, what does that mean for us? How do we move forward from this? Well, it starts with redefining our values. That’s going to take time and patience. But none of us are doing ourselves any favors by shouting or pointing at one another online. Hurling stones and looting at protests isn’t helping either. Let’s get ready to roll up our sleeves, America. Let’s dig back to who we really are before this whole story even began because whatever this all is….is “not it” as the kids would say. In honor of our national girl, Ariana Grande, I have one thing to say to all in this government: “thank you, next.”
As always, beautiful words and thoughts…and probably most importantly, truths…💜…
Steph, you always capture things so clearly with your writing. All week I’ve been grappling with my own memories from this time in Caracas and how they are influencing my reaction to the current situation, not sure how to make sense of it. And then you did it for me, thank you. Miss you and sending love!