SOPRAAANOOOOS. So. Pra. Nos. Dad was attempting to use the mic option on the remote control to turn on his new favorite show which is free right now because Xfinity has a heart after all and has allowed us common folk to watch HBO during the pandemic. It’s not a “kid friendly” show and there have been a few moments when I’ve had to usher the children out of the room when Grampy is watching. My oldest constantly tries to watch it with him, perhaps hoping I will condone it through the grandfather grandson bonding clause. If you’ve ever watched The Sopranos, you know I simply can’t allow that. Last night, however, the kids were away and I set Dad up with his show without any worries of young eyes and ears being nearby. Now it was time to set Mom up with The Crown; always a challenge because it’s on Netflix and we have to access it through the Apple TV. Those tiny remotes are not elderly friendly AT ALL so getting this show on is all me.
The small screen taste in this household is quite diverse. I would posit that no other house in this country travels through the exact same string of shows that ours does. The ages here are 7, 9, 11, 42, 85, and 88 so finding common TV ground with that range is difficult. The only shows we all watch together are ABC World News Tonight with David Muir, Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy. A couple weeks ago during our Friyay Family cocktail party on Zoom, Mom announced to everyone that David Muir was my “soothing person” and my “TV husband”. “I want a TV wife!” Dad chimed in. “Well, you can’t have one.” Mom shut that down right away. Trust me, the things I don’t write can and will fill a novel someday. Stay tuned.
With Mom watching The Crown and Dad watching The Sopranos, I retired upstairs to watch Ozark; my new favorite show. STEPH!!!! Mom yelled for me from the bottom of the stairs. Something had happened with The Crown and she couldn’t figure it out. The following is a transcript of what went down:
-It’s going into Tiger King. I don’t want Tiger King. But it’s not doing anything. I didn’t touch a thing.
-Mary, you might be done with the season.
-Oh, really? So I have to go into another season.
-You’ve watched all three seasons, Mom.
-So, how do I get into season 4?
-You can’t.
-Season 4 IS existing.
-Not yet.
-Yes it is ‘cuz Jimmy’s watching it.
-No. You’ve watched all of it.
-Oh that’s the end?
-That’s the end.
(audible gasp)
-I’m sorry Mom. If you want to watch the Tiger King…..
-No I DON’T want to watch the Tiger King. I reaaaally don’t.
We settled on Grace & Frankie and I went back upstairs only to fall asleep five minutes into watching Ozark. What will happen when Dad finishes The Sopranos? Again, stay tuned.
I have, on many occasions, threatened my parents with turning our lives into a TV show; the stuff that happens here daily would make for great entertainment. From watching, in horror, Dad test out the zipline when I first came back from Kaua`i to the hilariousness of helping Mom understand the release of seasons on Netflix, this is the stuff that gritty comedies are made of. It is far from perfect here. Very, very far. But I think that only increases our likability and connection to the rest of you humans out there. One thing is for certain, quarantine has brought out the good and bad humor in all of us here in this home and for that I am grateful. As I watch others have to keep their distance from the elders in their family, we have no choice but to remain close and we’re lucky for that. A multigenerational quaranteam that agrees on two things and two things only—hot dogs are delicious and David Muir is the only one who is allowed to deliver us the dire world news. What a lovable yet quirky bunch we are. If you see us go Facebook Live some night, you might want to watch….