It’s getting to the point where I’m no fun anymore. I am sorry. The first line to “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” by Crosby, Stills & Nash and my earworm for the past few days. Earworms have been an issue for me for about as long as I can remember. Annoying as hell but I have learned that the only way to make it go away is to indulge the worm like a spoiled pet, listen to the entire song on repeat a few times, and move on.
So, over the past 38 hours, I have listened to “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” approximately 7 times. A quirky song with a random mix of tempo and styles with the bonus randomness of Spanish thrown in at the end, I quickly figured out why that first line was stuck in my head. We’re on day ?? of quarantine and, let’s face it, it’s getting to the point where we’re all no fun anymore. Sorry, not sorry. Cabin fever is a thing. The last time I remember feeling anything akin to this was when we lived on Kaua`i and I longed for the option of driving west for hours. I guess I’m lucky to now live in a place where driving into the sunset is a quarantine possibility, even if it is a place where snow falls on May 9th. Yes, for real.
Quarantine is getting on all of our nerves and we’re jumping onto one another’s nerves as well. Though civilized, we are but animals when it comes down to it and we are used to a certain rhythm of living. 1 in 5 of us is unemployed, people are dying, people are hungry, kids are bored, kids are angry…..the list can go on and on. This is a multilayered sucky suckfest; suckier for some more than others. And if I hear “we’ll get through this together” one more time, I just might punch someone. Make room for your own self-pity because this, my friends, is a pitiful situation and you’re allowed to say this fucking sucks. I say that at least once a day and feel a million times better when I do.
With all of us in this country feeling “no fun anymore”, things are starting to crumble. Seen an argument on Facebook lately? So have I. Handling a pandemic and reopening a massive country is a delicate topic to say the least. Lives v. livelihoods seems like an easy one—of course lives are more important. Duh. I will say this, however. For far too long, I lived in a land called Myopia where I was only able to see things my way. I was comfortable there because my opinions were validated by the agreement of peers and I was able to feel better knowing that I must be right and all the rest had to be wrong. Such myopic egocentricity is really unattractive and, more importantly, counterproductive. Do I think I’m right? Of course I do. Even so, I’m going to sit my ass down in the grey area and absorb everything with both eyes wide open. Call me weak or indecisive, I won’t mind. I breathe easier in the grey; with practice it has become almost as easy as breathing in the forest among the trees. As we quickly reach a national fever pitch, my hope is that we find a way to sit together in this forest. My thoughts and feelings are valid (usually) as are yours, but I am certainly not always right. I’m willing to swallow that. Are you?
Although I admit it’s getting to the point that I’m no fun anymore, I’m not there yet. Laughing through even the shittiest of circumstances is how I get by. That and with exceptionally random earworms. Today’s earworm? “Both Sides Now” by Judy Collins. How did that happen? I found out that the Judy in “Judy Blue Eyes” is Judy Collins and her (original) version of “Both Sides Now” is, I think, my all-time favorite song for so many reasons. Moral of this story? One: I was clearly born in the wrong decade. Two: though you may be cranky with a dash of crazy, as am I, it’s now more important than ever to look at life from both sides. It’s what Judy Blue Eyes would want. My hope for you today? That my two earworms become yours, connecting our disparate worlds through music as only music can. Make that three earworms—look up Lochloosa by JJ Grey & Mofro. You won’t regret it. You’re welcome.