D.H. Lawrence's Student
The other day, a nor’easter swept up the east coast and caused a little chaos on the south shore of Massachusetts. Trees fell on houses and cars, some power lines came down, and no one’s hair was a match for that wind. As I got ready for work in the darkness of my house, a call came in from central administration—no school. All dressed and still in my bright green raincoat, I flopped onto the couch and just sipped my coffee in silence, hoping that my kids’ school would go on as planned so that this peace could continue. And it did. I got a day off and they didn’t, na na naaaaa na naaaaa naaaaa.
With the kids off to school, I decided to go out without much of a plan. The brightness of the fall leaves against the blue then grey sky was, in a word, awesome. “Yesterday was such a gift” my friend and co-worker remarked the next day at school. “It really was” I said. She has always been one to see and be evergreen amidst the grey, a true role model for humanity.
At the end of my unexpected day off, I found one of my AP English essays from 1996 while searching for fall decorations in the attic. The quotes I included as textual evidence from D.H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover would make anyone blush, including me 23 years later. Chosen from the list of books for which I needed parent permission to read, I now have to rethink my recent denial of being a badass. How I managed to obtain that permission to read such a novel from my Catholic parents, I have no idea. Deception, perhaps?
As I thumbed through the essay filled with descriptions of things I had not yet experienced myself, I stumbled upon a message I think I was meant to hear 23 years later (and perhaps it is what you need to hear as well). Through my thorough retelling of the countless “encounters” of the two main characters, my conclusion seemingly nailed it (yes, intended). As Lady Chatterley and Mellors reflect upon their adulterous interclass relationship with one another, Mellors finally understands that being holed up in his cottage alone was not the way to go:
“And are you sorry?” she said “In a way!” he replied, looking up at the sky. “I thought I’d done with it all. Now I’ve begun again.” “Life...It’s life,” he said. “There’s no keeping clear. And if you do keep clear you might almost as well die.”
No, there really is “no keeping clear”. Life is a gift, storms and all. And to have found love and deep connections with others in that life is what being human is all about. There are a million and one reasons to just sit at home and watch as the Earth turns slowly toward and away from the sun each day. Will your present or future be perfect? Hell no. But, the trees are just so gorgeous and the air is just so fresh. Breathe it in and see what’s waiting for you out there. Take a chance.
Today, we will celebrate my parents’ 60th wedding anniversary. The past month has been eventful for this amazing couple and through those events they have shown me that grit is something to celebrate and emulate. Their legacy lies in the people that love them. They have always been the center of our solar system, burning brightly and pulling us all in with the gravity of their existence. From two distinct paths that crossed at the right time, they have created a family that continues on in the vitality of this next generation I now have the privilege to help raise.
Though the couch may invite you today to just sit and watch the world turn, may this brief story remind you that life is something to embrace. Open the door and allow the chill of the October air to awaken the goosebumps on your skin. Look up. That blue sky against those orange maples and yellow birches really is something to see, isn’t it? No more steering clear of this one chance you get. Be brave. Live. And, gosh darnit, celebrate whenever you have the chance. So grateful to be alive because of you, Mom and Dad. 60 years of two lives well-lived together, fueling this little badass for life. Thank you and Happy Anniversary. Here’s to you for never keeping clear and always powering through. You are, quite literally, the best.
