“This is definitely not conjunctivitis” the kind medical professional at CVS’ Minute Clinic told me as I swore that my left eyeball was catching on fire. “You might have something in your eye and you should see an eye doctor for this.” Oh, ok. Flash forward to the next day. Holy mother of god. After I was able to pry my eyelids open, if The Walking Dead needed an extra for their zombie scenes, I could have stepped right in absolutely no makeup needed. Left AND right eyeballs were now on fire, swollen, red, and constantly oozing a viscous liquid that crusted mere seconds later. On top of that, the left side of my forehead felt like it was about to explode. I looked like the goddess of hell and the first thing I cursed was the Minute Clinic. I thought about going through the CVS drive thru and shoving my head in the window just to prove myself right. “Got any erythromycin for me now???” I would say with my weepy eyes glaring.
As a teacher, any unexpected illness sucks. There’s a scramble to make sub plans, ensure that your classes are well-cared for, and the very acute need for help from your colleagues. Copies have to be made, updated class lists need to be provided. Through this 6 AM scramble, a coworker happily stepped up to the plate and took care of things for me despite, I’m sure, having a million things to do for her own classes. Off to my own doctor I went knowing that all was well with my students. So very reassuring to have colleagues to count on. With a fresh diagnosis of viral conjunctivitis and a sinus infection in hand, I finally got the drugs I knew I needed to get this thing under control. Or so I thought.
Viral conjunctivitis, as it turns out, does not respond to erythromycin or antibiotics. My sinus infection cleared up fairly quickly and my forehead no longer felt like it would burst. My eyes, however, laughed at the erythromycin ointment and actually burned more anytime I put it on. “A virus has to run its course” I’ve been told. Next time, however, I’m asking about antiviral meds. Surely allowing viruses to run amok with your vision isn’t prudent. Day two arrived and my eyes were worse than day one. I again relied on the help of my colleagues to ensure my classes were in good shape. Bless my hallmates, bless them.
When I returned to work the next day, still looking like a zombie, I promised to try to not infect any of my coworkers. Something about conjunctivitis makes you look far more infectious than any other illness. People actually recoil a little when they look at you and I can’t say I blame them. I myself recoiled when I looked in the mirror. It wasn’t a good look for me. I taught through the rest of the week, occasionally putting on sunglasses when the light of day got to be too much. My students rolled with it because they know just how weird I am. Hiding my weirdness is not something I do anymore and, to be honest, I think my students appreciate that. Why be normal? So boring.
Last night I went bowling with the very same colleagues who pulled through for me the week before. With vision restored and corneas no longer on fire, I still came in second to last and was told that there is an “odd beauty” in that ranking. There sure is. Odd beauty—what an excellent description of so many things in my life. A few gutter balls resulted from my directing angry energy on the game which prompted the one and only Kai Doo to say “What if you focused all your joy on the ball?” And so I did. And it worked. I knocked them pins down like a boss. “The teacher reveals himself when the student is ready” Kai remarked. He sure does. If you know Kai, you know joy. His win last night was well-deserved and his jacket was so spot on for the occasion. The man has talent and impeccable taste in fashion; Swissair blanket scarves and all. Thank you, teacher. I owe you for those 9 pins I knocked down. Joy over anger. How very novel.
Conjunctivitis is probably the least concerning thing to happen to me this year. Through the big things and small things, I have people that consistently have my back. Those people are my joy, my reason for smiling and laughing every single day. My life is far from perfect. We all have muck in our lives; some more than others but we all have it. Thanks to Kai and so many others, I now see joy through the muck. And part of that joy will definitely include more bowling for sure because those shoes match my favorite flannel perfectly. Coincidence? I think not. Watch out, bowlers of America. There are some new bowlers in town.